Are you a mom or dad who thought you’d lose your mind from fear and worry over your beloved child? Powerless, you stood by watching while they began going down the wrong road of drugs, alcohol, and self-injury. Maybe they were diagnosed with depression, OCD, bipolar, anxiety or some other mental illness.
They’ve possibly revealed a Same Sex Attraction or have been living a gay lifestyle. Your heart may be breaking due to their incarceration and ongoing trouble with the law.
Alone is not good on this journey. Your natural instincts tell you to keep it to yourself, but isolation only increases your pain and makes it worse. I want to tell you about something that can make a huge difference. It can help you more than you could imagine – being in a support group. Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged addiction, Bible verses, comfort, encouragement, incarceration, mental illness, prayer, same sex attraction, Scripture, self-injury, support group | Leave a Comment »
Today’s blog is an excerpt from the book I’m writing about my difficult journey as a parent.
“No one is exempt from tragedy or disappointment—God himself was not exempt. Jesus offered no immunity, no way out of the unfairness, but rather a way through . . .” (Philip Yancey, Disappointment with God; Zondervan. New York, NY. 1988; p.217)
As loving, conscientious parents we had the need to find an explanation for why things turned out like they did with our daughter. At nineteen, she was struggling with drug and alcohol abuse, bipolar, anxiety, cutting, and trauma from being raped. How could this happen to the dreams I had for her? What did I do wrong? It’s not fair! Where is God? I was so angry and disappointed. Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged acceptance, alcohol abuse, anger, Bible verses, disappointment, drug abuse, God, mental illness, Scripture, self-injury | 6 Comments »
Have you ever felt hopeless about your child? They were arrested – again. Now they’re facing a longer jail or prison sentence. Have you reached the point where you couldn’t believe any more that change was possible? Maybe they relapsed for the umpteenth time. You were encouraged after their last stint in rehab, convinced this time was going to be different. They finally “got it”. You’re hopes rose, then fell, shattered once again. Or maybe they struggle with a mental illness they can’t manage. Suicide threats are frequent. You can’t take it any more.
You want to have hope–oh, how badly you wish you could. But you just can’t. You’ve been disappointed too many times. Your heart’s been crushed too often.
Maybe you got your child back – not just once, but several times–only to lose them again to drugs or alcohol, to mental illness, to one more bad decision, to any number of things. The list of possibilities is long. You’re too familiar with them.
Can we be honest? You aren’t who you once were. You’re smarter and wiser now. You know more than you wish you did–much more. You’ve become cynical. Resentful. Bitter. You’re faith may even be wavering. Hope is gone. You’ve given up. I did–BUT GOD helped me find a new kind of hope. Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged Bible verses, God, hope, jail, mental illness, prayer, relapse, Scripture, suicide | 6 Comments »
Are you the mom or dad of a child who is struggling with depression? Are you tormented not knowing if your child is safe – from themselves? Do you have an uneasy feeling something’s wrong, but can’t put your finger on it? Do you worry they feel worthless, that their life doesn’t matter? If so, this blog is for you. The information here could be crucial for you and your child.
This content is from The National Suicide Prevention Hotline website. These warning signs may mean someone is at risk for suicide. The risk is greater one of these behaviors is new or has increased and if it seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. If your child exhibits any of these behaviors, seek help as soon as possible by calling the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged best books, Bible verses, God, hope, Scripture, suicide | 2 Comments »
Since Robin Williams’ tragic death, there has been volumes written and discussed about addiction, recovery, depression and suicide in the media. Depression. Substance Abuse. Suicide. Each strikes fear and trembling in every parent’s heart.
“O God, please don’t let any of these ever happen to my child”, we say to ourselves. We hope and pray none of these will touch our lives. Most of us are unprepared and uninformed. Unless your family or personal background has these elements in it, you’re probably like me – clueless.
If you’re a parent who’s troubled by your son or daughter’s behaviors, Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged addiction, Bible verses, depression, God, mental illness, prayer, Scripture, suicide, trust | 2 Comments »
Have you found yourself in the position of not liking like the person your child has become?
When they’re rude, hurtful, disrespectful and downright hateful it’s hard not to. Suddenly, we’re the bad guy; the enemy.
Alcohol and drugs changed them.
Depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses altered them.
Time in jail or prison made them different.
Trauma transformed them.
So much they’ve experienced has in a sense, taken our child from us. Before we know it, they’re no longer the person we once knew. The sweet, innocent, son or daughter we raised and have so many special memories of – where did they go? What happened? It’s baffling. Mystifying.
But they’re still our sons, our daughters. Underneath it all is a frightened, lost soul. Our precious child is still in there – somewhere.
Is there anything that can make a difference? What could it possibly be?
An unfailing love from God – demonstrated through you. None of us deserve it, yet, His love for us never fails, no matter what we’ve done. Think about that for a minute. Love that can’t wear out, give out or fizzle out. It’s impossible – absolutely not possible – to ever cease to exist – no way, no how – for it to stop or come to an end . . . ever!
Nothing can separate us from God’s love. NOT A THING.
I found it comforting to think of how much God loved my daughter, no matter what she did or what had been done to her. Somehow, it gave me hope that if He loved her that much, then one day she just might be okay. I could put her in His hands and entrust her into His care because of this remarkable love.
I could depend on it. It was a sure thing. It didn’t guarantee the outcome I wanted, but I could trust that out of His love He would do whatever it would take to try to reach her. He’s faithful and He can do it.
When I was thinking about this, I remembered a song. Maybe you know it:
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness, O Lord. Great is thy faithfulness.”
These two Bible verses sums it up well:
Lamentations 3:21-23 “Yet this I call to mind and therefore, I have hope; because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Psalm 119: 76a “May your unfailing love be my comfort . . .”
Find comfort in knowing and believing that because God’s love never fails, there is always hope – for everyone. As a dear friend of mine likes to sign her emails: LNF. Love Never Fails!
Posted in what you can do | Tagged alcoholic, Bible verses, drug abuse, God, love, mental illness, Scripture, trauma | 2 Comments »
Are you the parent of a child who cuts themselves? I had never heard of this until my daughter cut herself the first time. She was twelve. That was fifteen years ago. I was shocked, scared out of my wits and clueless. I had no idea how to help her.
*Photo courtesy of webshots
Cutting. It’s a form of self-injury also called self-harm or self-mutilation. Other forms are burning, hair pulling, breaking bones, picking sores or wounds, eating disorders and biting the tongue or inside of the mouth. I’ve also learned that tatoos are yet another form, only it’s controlled. You’re just paying someone else to do it for you, so it feels more acceptable.
Have you wondered if there was anything you could do to help your son or daughter? The following information is from a counselor. There may be some helpful ideas here you could share with your child. You might want to print the main content and give it to them to read. Make a copy for yourself and keep it nearby to reference when needed.
Here is a Word of hope for you mom or dad: “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped.” (Psalm28:7a) NIV
He will help you find your way through this difficult time. Please email me if you’d like more resources to find help for this issue.
Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged counseling, cutting, hope, self harm, self-injury | 2 Comments »