A Hurting Parent’s Christmas Wish List

Being the mom of a daughter who has had problems for over 7 years with alcohol and drugs, is bipolar, has anxiety issues, struggles with cutting, has been raped and suicidal many times, my wants during the holidays are few.  If I could be a child again I would climb up in Santa’s lap and have a very different kind of wish list this year.  Maybe you would, too.  All I want for Christmas is:

1)  A “do over” for my daughter; to be able to turn the clock back and let her start over again; to erase all the trauma and damage done to herself and others; to wipe away the memories of the terrors she has experienced, and our whole family as well; to make all the scars on her body and heart disappear (and on my heart – our whole family’s).

2)  My daughter healed completely, on every level – physical, emotional and spiritual; heal her addictions, her bi-polar, her anxieties, her depression, the many broken relationships.

3)  A fire rekindled in her heart for God that cannot be quenched or put out by anything or anyone for the rest of her life.  To make her a bright shining star in Your universe, a brilliant light for all to see who are lost in hopelessness, ultimately seeing His life in her life in a beautiful and unique way.

4)  For my child to have the dreams God has for her; great purpose for all her pain and a compelling reason to live so strong she will never waiver from it.

5)  A protective shield and invincible covering over my child so that she is safe from all the plans and schemes of the Evil One to destroy her and pull her away from her Maker.  Sometimes I wonder who is winning this war.  I desperately long to see victory!

6)  God’s perfect peace in my heart no matter what is happening with my child.  A deep, abiding serenity nothing can touch, no storm can quench, no suffering can smother.

7)  Renewed faith that as long as she is breathing there is always hope.  But the right kind of hope — for I know God cannot give me any guarantees, for he has given her free-will (how horrible it seems to me at times!) to choose what she will do with her life.  So my hope must be in God – in the fact that He will always be with me, will help me, will be my strength and will redeem it all . . .  even use it for good.

8) And lastly, the strength to keep going  – - – to not grow weary and drop out of this marathon.  On my own I cannot do it.  But in Christ I can do all things.

Of course, I know I can’t climb up into Santa’s lap again.  I’m a little too big and too old for that!  But I can climb up into my heavenly Father’s lap, through prayer, anytime I want (I don’t have to wait in a line!) and bring my requests to Him!  I’m never too big or too old for that!  I think I’ll write down my list and put it in my God Box!  Do you have a God Box?  I will tell you about that in my next entry here!  Doing this gives me more peace – hmmmmm, that’s one of the things on my list, isn’t it?

Here is a Bible verse I really like:  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition (our personal requests), with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  (Phil. 4:6-7)