Parents who are in pain over the choices and behaviors of their children often feel like they’re being tossed about in a storm at sea. Whether it’s a rebellious teen or a troubled adult, the hurt is the same. It’s deep and wide and consuming.
Mental illness, addiction, self-injury, same-sex attraction, suicide attempts, divorce – it doesn’t matter. Pain is pain. It’s overwhelming, especially if they’re older and there are grandchildren in the picture. That adds to the heartache and worry. It complicates everything.
What can you grab on to that will hold you steady in your raging storm? Where can you turn for what you need – stability, encouragement, comfort, wisdom, hope, and strength? Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged addiction, Bible verses, comfort, encouragement, God, hope, mental illness, same sex attraction, Scripture, self-injury, suicide | Leave a Comment »
Today’s blog was written by fellow mom blogger, Stacy Flury: Anchor of Promise. She has some excellent insights for parents of teens who are in crisis. I think you’ll find it helpful.
I have met a lot of parents with teens in crisis throughout the years and among them I found four common responses.
When a situation arises and your teen is in crisis, which one of these negative parenting styles are you implementing into your life?
The Denial Parent – Although you love your teen, you think that what they are doing is just a rebellious stage in their life in which they will finally outgrow it and get their life together with time. When you do see the outright dangers and concerns, you hope that it will quickly die down and be fixed on its own by the next day. If someone confronts the situation head on, you retreat and let them know that you are working on it but it is never addressed in the long run. When you cannot deny it any longer, you find many excuses as to why you couldn’t help in the first place. Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged Bible verses, control, crisis, denial, enabling, fear, God, Scripture, Teens | 2 Comments »
It’s Easter. A day of hope and new beginnings. That’s what people say, right? But what if you don’t feel very hopeful today? Your child is struggling and you can’t help it – you feel hopeless. They’re incarcerated. They have a drug or alcohol problem. They’ve done so much damage to themselves. They inflict wounds on their bodies, too – cutting, burning, breaking bones, disordered eating They’ve been in and out of rehab, but can’t seem to overcome it. Is there any hope for them?
They made a terrible mistake and married that person you prayed they never would – or they moved in with them against your wishes (and prayers). Marriage is the furthest thing from their minds. Maybe now there’s an innocent child (or children) in the picture. Or they’re pursuing a gay lifestyle and hinted marriage could be ahead – or they already married their partner. What is there to hope for now?
Maybe they have a mental illness they can’t seem to manage. Suicide attempts you wish you could forget. It’s been a revolving door of psych wards, hospitalizations, medications, counselors, psychiatrists and there’s still no stability, no peace, no rest – for them, or for you. You wonder how much more you can take. Your heart cries out, “How much longer, O God?”
You see no way anything good could come from all that’s happened. Everything looks ruined. You feel lifeless – dead, stuck in a darkened tomb with a huge stone blocking the only way out. And it really stinks.
What now? What can you do?
- Keep praying and trusting. God is the relentless Hound of Heaven.
- Be honest – with God and a few safe people. Let out your pain. He sees. He knows. He cares.
- Never give up – tomorrow could be their Resurrection Day!
- Remember who God is, what He’s done in the past, and what He can do in the future. He can raise the dead back to life again!
As long as your child is still breathing – there’s still hope.
So, hope on!
Hold. On. To. Promises. Expectantly.
If you need some fresh hope you might like this book: The Hope of a Homecoming by Brendan O’Rourke and DeEtte Sauer. Click here to order it from our website and a small portion of your purchase will help our ministry, Hope for Hurting Parents.
This verse from the Bible reminds me where my hope comes from:
“Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope.” (Psalm 119:49)
It’s my prayer that your hope will be renewed today because Christ is risen! He is Risen Indeed! And He has the power to raise your son or daughter back to life. And if you don’t see this in your lifetime, He’ll raise you up from the grave you feel like your in, to live victoriously in His peace – today and all the days of your life.
In His Resurrection Power.
Posted in what you can do | Tagged addiction, best books, Bible verses, eating disorder, encouragement, God, holidays, hope, mental illness, prayer, same sex attraction, Scripture, self-injury, suicide | 4 Comments »
This is part 2 from Sunday, March 29th’s blog post. This is the second installment of a collection of quotes to help parents whose children struggle with an addiction from Kathy Taughinbaugh. (Found at kathytaughinbaugh.com)
Glean from the wisdom of others and see if something here will help you on your journey from pain to peace.
“If there is one overriding “fact” in the world of behavior change, it is that people who record important information about their lives are the people most likely to succeed in making important changes in their lives.” ~ Robert Meyers, Ph.D., author of Get Your Loved One Sober
Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged addiction, best books, God, hope, pain, parents, peace, prayer, recovery, relapse | Leave a Comment »
This is Part 1 of a blog written by Kathy Taughinbaugh, a coach for parents of addicts. These are some amazing quotes, so let’s begin.
“My recovery from addiction to my addict began much earlier than my son’s recovery from addiction to drugs. My hope for everyone is that no matter what chaos is in your lives at the moment, you are able to control what goes on within you and have some peace. I read somewhere that there will always be sadness, but misery is a choice.” ~ Denise Krochta, author of Sweat
“It just takes one to stop the dance, to change the steps and start a new dance. But if both change and learn the new steps and practice those steps, together, a new dance is created. Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged addiction, best books, detachment, honesty, pain, parents, prayer, recovery | Leave a Comment »
If you are the parent of an addict, you must read this. It was written by my daughter, Renee, about four years ago. It’s powerful and sobering. She’s in recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, self-injury, struggles with mental health issues, has been the victim of rape, and is a suicide survivor. There were many times I didn’t think either one of us would survive. Wherever you are in the journey with your son or daughter, don’t give up. Hold on to hope – STAY.
“I was on my way home from the beach today when I received a text from a friend informing me that they had relapsed on heroin. They were coming off a two-week bender. My heart seemed to stutter, as if it started to cry before I could. A tennis ball lodged itself in my throat and I struggled to swallow. Then anger rose up inside of me from the depths, doing it’s job, protecting me from the pain. (It’s easier to be angry than to be hurt.) I sat in the back seat of the car the last thirty minutes of the trip home, shaking my head in silence and fighting tears, when the anger subsided. Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | 4 Comments »
Does your son or daughter have a sexual addiction? Do they go from one promiscuous relationship (with the same-sex or the opposite sex) to another? Are they irresistibly drawn to pornography in various forms? Have these behaviors become a pattern? If so, you need to know about Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, Tennessee.
Their mission is to provide a place for healing for those damaged by pornography and other forms of sexual addiction; and to provide training for professionals who work with sex addicts and their loved ones. They offer clinical intensive workshops with the best strategies based on grace-based Christian principles.
What sets them apart? Continue Reading »
Posted in what you can do | Tagged acceptance, God, grace, help, prayer, relationships, same sex attraction, sex addictions | Leave a Comment »