Do you think it’s because of something you did? Do you feel guilty, as though it was somehow your fault?
Are you so embarrassed and ashamed that you can’t tell anyone? You won’t reach out for help?
Do you keep helping, giving money and rescuing from consequences because you have the need to protect them from pain?
Has fear about the what-ifs and unknowns consumed you?
Are you so overcome with anger and resentment that it’s making you sick, giving you an ulcer or heart palpitations?
If you can say yes to any of these questions, then I have two words for you: STOP IT!
Please forgive me for being so blunt. I don’t mean to be cruel or uncaring. I’m not trying to make light of your plight. I’ve been there. I struggle with these things, too. And I care. I care a lot. Keep reading. I have a some practical suggestions for you followed by something to help you lighten up a bit. This is serious business. We tend to take ourselves so seriously. We need a good laugh once in a while. But first:
Stop being so hard on yourself. Instead, be easy on yourself. It’s not your fault, no matter how poor your parenting skills were. Your child still made their own choices. You didn’t force them to ruin their lives.
Stop isolating, suffering in silence from guilt and shame. It’s not your fault. You are in good company. From the very beginning of time God’s.
Stop enabling; doing for them what they can and should be doing for themselves. Set boundaries and keep them.
Stop being a victim of your fears. You can face them and rise above them.
Stop being angry and resentful. Detach. Let it all go. Set yourself free.
Watch this video clip for a few minutes of humor. You need it. It makes my point.
On my own I didn’t have the strength and courage to stop doing these things. But with God’s help I am learning!
A Bible verse that encourages me when I don’t think I can do something is: “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me (Phil.4:13 NASB).”