When Love is A Four Letter Word for a Parent
January 7, 2014 by Tom and Dena Yohe
I am the mother of a twenty-seven year old daughter who has struggled for years with a drug and alcohol addiction, cutting, brain disorders (bipolar and more) and suicidal tendencies. It’s been a long, hard road full of countless experiences I thought I could not bear. In the last fifteen years my love for her has brought me intense pain and heartache. Love became a four letter word, but I have found my way to hope and peace, so I wrote this for those of you who are still trying to find your way there.
For brokenhearted parents love is a four letter word.
What was meant to bring joy has become a portal to pain,
A highway to hell,
A frightening roller coaster ride you can’t get off, that never stops.
A haunted house, a maze with no way out.
A hurricane with no eye of relief.
A wound that never heals.
Because we love our children deeply, we suffer deeply.
When they break, we break.
Their tears stain our cheeks.
We walk around with our hearts unprotected,
On the outside of our chests
Bleeding and exposed.
Their madness our insanity.
Could it be possible that their dying not be ours?
Our cold hearts beat again?
Our life not so wrapped up in theirs?
I believe that yes, it is.
Because of love, that four letter word.Yet love is also the place where hope lives.
Hope, another four letter word.
So hold on to love and hold onto hope
For Both are gifts from God.
In Him we love
In Him we live
In Him make peace with pain
Until our dead hearts come back to life,
Until they beat again.
Though we break and bleed.
Wounds can heal.
Relief be found.
We can be restored.
In His life
In His presence
In His unfailing love
In that terribly, wonderful
Four letter word.
Brokenhearted parents can find
The pathway to continue to endure.