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Posts Tagged ‘addiction’

When I heard about the terrible earthquake that hit Nepal and the growing death toll, I moaned. It hurt my heart. It’s difficultearthquake in Nepal to imagine that degree of suffering, loss, and destruction. Many parents – maybe you – find themselves living in what feels like an earthquake, but their child caused it. Emotionally, it brings about total upheaval of your foundations. It’s devastating. Earth-shaking. You’re not sure you have the strength or survival skills to live through it. You have no idea where to turn for help. You cry out to God and wonder when or where rescue will come?

It may feel too late. The destruction has already hit.

When I felt this way because of my daughter’s addictions, self-injuring, mental illness, suicide attempts and sexual trauma, there were four words I needed to hear. I believe they were from God. They were: (more…)

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come1You’ve been a good, loving, conscientious parent. You did the best you could. You thought you did it all right, you even took your child to church so they would believe in God and know right from wrong. You provided everything you thought was necessary for them to have a great life. But, somehow, you find yourself facing terribly painful situations with them that you never saw coming and you beat yourself up about it. You’re so hard on yourself, convinced it’s all your fault.

Your son or daughter has developed an addiction. They smoke pot every day. They need alcohol to function. They’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness (brain disorder) and either refuse treatment or can’t find the right medications. They’ve attempted suicide and been hopeless many times. Your daughter’s pregnant, or your son (more…)

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Are you the parent or grandparent in pain from a broken heart? Is your pain from the choices, behaviors or struggles of your photo cred. Jordan McQueenchild or grandchild? Mental illness, addiction, self-injury, an  eating disorder, suicidal tendencies, same-sex attraction, incarceration, or an unplanned pregnancy?

They feel like elephants sitting on our chests. They hang like menacing storm clouds over our heads, creating a constant state of anxiety and panic we can’t shake. Nausea is our regular unwanted companion. Maybe you’re a relative or friend of someone this describes. If so, I wrote this for you.

In my opinion, there are 5 things parents in pain (and yes, I’m a member of that club) want their loved ones and friends to know:

1. We need a lot of patience and understanding. Lots of it. We’re not ourselves. We can’t think straight. We may be more forgetful than usual. We may look all right on the outside, but inside we feel like we’re dying. (more…)

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anchorParents who are in pain over the choices and behaviors of their children often feel like they’re being tossed about in a storm at sea. Whether it’s a rebellious teen or a troubled adult, the hurt is the same. It’s deep and wide and consuming.

Mental illness, addiction, self-injury, same-sex attraction, suicide attempts, divorce – it doesn’t matter. Pain is pain. It’s overwhelming, especially if they’re older and there are grandchildren in the picture. That adds to the heartache and worry. It complicates everything.

What can you grab on to that will hold you steady in your raging storm? Where can you turn for what you need – stability, encouragement, comfort, wisdom, hope, and strength? (more…)

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It’s Easter. A day of hope and new beginnings. That’s what people say, right? But what if you don’t feel very hopeful today? pray1Your child is struggling and you can’t help it – you feel hopeless. They’re incarcerated. They have a drug or alcohol problem. They’ve done so much damage to themselves. They inflict wounds on their bodies, too – cutting, burning, breaking bones, disordered eating They’ve been in and out of rehab, but can’t seem to overcome it. Is there any hope for them?

They made a terrible mistake and married that person you prayed they never would – or they moved in with them against your wishes (and prayers). Marriage is the furthest thing from their minds. Maybe now there’s an innocent child (or children) in the picture. Or they’re pursuing a gay lifestyle and hinted marriage could be ahead – or they already married their partner. What is there to hope for now?

Maybe they have a mental illness they can’t seem to manage. Suicide attempts you wish you could forget. It’s been a revolving door of psych wards, hospitalizations, medications, counselors, psychiatrists and there’s still no stability, no peace, no rest – for them, or for you. You wonder how much more you can take. Your heart cries out, “How much longer, O God?”

You see no way anything good could come from all that’s happened. Everything looks ruined. You feel lifeless – dead, stuck in a darkened tomb with a huge stone blocking the only way out. And it really stinks.

What now? What can you do?

  • Keep praying and trusting. God is the relentless Hound of Heaven.
  • Be honest – with God and a few safe people. Let out your pain. He sees. He knows. He cares.
  • Never give up – tomorrow could be their Resurrection Day!
  • Remember who God is, what He’s done in the past, and what He can do in the future. He can raise the dead back to life again!

As long as your child is still breathing – there’s still hope.
So, hope on!

Hold. On. To. Promises. Expectantly.

If you need some fresh hope you might like this book: The Hope of a Homecoming by Brendan O’Rourke and DeEtte Sauer. Click here to order it from our website and a small portion of your purchase will help our ministry, Hope for Hurting Parents.

This verse from the Bible reminds me where my hope comes from:

“Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope.” (Psalm 119:49)

006It’s my prayer that your hope will be renewed today because Christ is risen! He is Risen Indeed! And He has the power to raise your son or daughter back to life.  And if you don’t see this in your lifetime, He’ll raise you up from the grave you feel like your in, to live victoriously in His peace – today and all the days of your life.

In His Resurrection Power.

Amen.

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new life1This is part 2 from Sunday, March 29th’s blog post. This is the second installment of a collection of quotes to help parents whose children struggle with an addiction from Kathy Taughinbaugh. (Found at kathytaughinbaugh.com)

Glean from the wisdom of others and see if something here  will help you on your journey from pain to peace.

“If there is one overriding “fact” in the world of behavior change, it is that people who record important information about their lives are the people most likely to succeed in making important changes in their lives.” ~ Robert Meyers, Ph.D., author of Get Your Loved One Sober

 

 

 

 

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This is Part 1 of a blog written by Kathy Taughinbaugh, a coach for parents of addicts.beauty5 (2) These  are some amazing quotes, so let’s begin.

“My recovery from addiction to my addict began much earlier than my son’s recovery from addiction to drugs. My hope for everyone is that no matter what chaos is in your lives at the moment, you are able to control what goes on within you and have some peace. I read somewhere that there will always be sadness, but misery is a choice.”  ~ Denise Krochta, author of Sweat 

“It just takes one to stop the dance, to change the steps and start a new dance. But if both change and learn the new steps and practice those steps, together, a new dance is created. (more…)

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