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Posts Tagged ‘cutting’

TWLOHA movie12The To Write Love on Her Arms movie has been out almost a week now. It’s surreal for my husband and me to see our daughter and our lives in a movie. We’ve heard from friends all over the country who’ve watched it and even a few who saw it on international flights.

The comments have been overwhelmingly positive. It’s been a long time coming. The movie was filmed four years ago. One of the producers, a lead character in the story, David, died two years ago. The movie exists because of his strong belief that the story needed to be made into a motion picture to impact still more people with its message of hope.

We thank God for you and your ability to dream big, David!

I’ve been asked a lot of questions about the movie. You can rent or purchase it from RedBox, Netflix, itunes, Amazon, twloha.com, or Walmart online. It’s rated PG-13 for language and content. It deals with sensitive subjects: Addiction, mental illness, self-injury, and sexual trauma. For individuals who struggle with self-injury, counselors recommend they watch it with a supportive community and have opportunities to talk about it afterward so that it won’t trigger them.

I’m addressing a few questions today and then several more in my next post this coming Wednesday, March 11th.

 

When did I first realize Renee struggled with self-injury?I Don't Love My Child Anymore She Said - Or Does She? - Anchor Of Promise (more…)

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I am the mother of Renee Yohe. Who is she? She’s the troubled young woman whose story became a phenomenon when itTWLOHA movie16 birthed a global, non-profit movement called To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com; also on Facebook). They bring help and hope to those who struggle with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. Their website explains their purpose: “To encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly into treatment and recovery.”

These are the issues my daughter has struggled with for years. She almost lost her life – more than once. My journey as her mom has been, by far, the most difficult experience of my life, yet the most transforming. And now her story has been transforming the lives of thousands, if not millions, around the world. We marvel over this.

A little over three years ago another amazing thing happened. A movie was made about Renee’s story and the five life-changing days that snowballed into what we know today as To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com). Yesterday, March 3rd, that movie, titled after the name of the organization, was released by Sony Pictures! (more…)

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When your child is addicted to a substance or behavior, whether it’s pornography, gambling, cutting, binging and purging or to depression20 another person, it has a huge impact on us as their parent. If they suffer with a mental illness – Depression, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or an Anxiety Disorder it hurts us, too. If they’re gay or confused about their sexuality we’re affected as well.

Their pain is ours. We’re connected on a deep level, especially us moms. And sometimes we develop unhealthy, addictive behaviors ourselves.

What are you addicted to?

Getting your Way? “My child better please me and do what I told them; they need to live up to my expectations, or else.” (more…)

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My daughter is a cutter. She hurt herself the first time when she was only twelve-years-old. I wrote this poem for parents who, like me, bear hidden scars in their hearts because of their children who suffer with self-injury, also called self-harm, self-mutilation. My daughter has struggled with self-injury for over ten years. It’s hard for someone who hasn’t experienced this to understand what it’s like for a parent. Maybe my words will describe your feelings, too.

tears - artwork by Jonty HurwitzCuts on your arms
With more hidden from sight,
Countless marks of madness
How can it be?
That your raging self-hatred
Becomes my insanity? (more…)

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DisappointmentToday’s blog is part 2 from Wednesday, January 28th. It was written by Stacy Flury for parents of teens who struggle with self-injury. Her blog is Anchor of Promise. In part 2 she talks about the warning signs, reasons behind why self-harmers hurt themselves and what they can do.

So parents ask, “What are the signs of self-harm?”

It is very difficult to catch a self-harmer. They can hide it easily or explain it away to some other excuse such as an accidental injury. My daughter had often used the excuse of scratches from our cat. However, the differences in a cat scratch and a human self-inflicted scratch are different. Here are a few other warning signs.

1. Covering of the body.
2. Unexplained reasons for bruising and cuts
3. Numerous amounts of scarring, burning, cuts within a period of time
4. Broken bones too often (more…)

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This is an informative, compassionate blog to help parents understand self-harm/self-injury and their children who struggle with it. It’s thoughtfully written by Stacy Flury, a mom who’s daughter was a cutter. She She understands. She gets it. She also offers some great resources. You can follow her at Anchor of Promise.Self-Harm: It Isn't Just Cutting - Anchor Of Promise

There is a show called, “Strange Addictions” that covers a huge gamut of self-prescribed addictive behaviors from licking the fur off of a cat and eating it, stinging yourself with bees or even sniffing/snorting moth balls. Although there were many other strange and peculiar self-harming addictions, some common factors stood out.

Many found their addiction as a way of coping with other issues in their life. Secondly, some of these types of addictions also suffered from other mental health disorders. When listening to their stories, they often mention a pivotal point in their life that triggered this issue.

So with this post, I would like to discuss some of the ways teen boys and girls utilize self-harm to help them get through everyday life. My hope is that it will bring some type of awareness of the very serious dangers of self-injury.

Although there are many avenues to self-harm, we will focus on some of the most pronounced type of self-injury among pre-teens to young adult.

Cutting – using anything sharp that cuts open the skin. Usually found on wrists, arms ankles, stomach and other areas where it can be concealed. Majority of cutters are girls between the ages of 10-19 however boys are on the rise of self-mutilation.

Object Impact – banging and punching objects to cause bruising and bleeding – mostly seen in boys.

Self-Impact – banging or punching self to cause bruising and bleeding – again, mostly seen in boys.

Carving words or symbols into the skin –  it is not the same as cutting; more of a lasting effect (like tattooing) to be reminded of what they are feeling emotionally or symbolizing that emotion.

Hair pulling – a compulsive desire to pull out hair.

Burning – burning skin using cigarettes, lighters, curling iron, etc.

Healing interference – habitual touching, peeling, pulling, adding foreign substance, etc. to wound so that healing will not be complete.

Scratching or Pinching – using objects or fingers to cause bruising, bleeding and ripped skin.

Eating Foreign Objects – paper, glue, play dough, cotton balls, etc.

So the question is asked to a self-harmer about why they self-harm. For some, they do not know how they started or why they do it. For many, it has involved stress, anxiety, and depression. For others, it is a coping skill learned when life got out of control. For them, this is something that they can control in their mind.

Those who suffer from anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, broken families, PTSD, sexual abuse and incest are more prone to self-harm than others.

 

Dear God, please comfort the many parents reading this whose son or daughter struggles with self-injury.  Calm their fears. Give them understanding and increased compassion for their child’s inner pain. And give wisdom to know what to do.

On Sunday I will post Part 2 of this blog when Stacy will address the reasons behind cutting.

 

Anchor Of Promise

Self-Harm: It Isn't Just Cutting - Anchor Of Promise
There is a show called, “Strange Addictions” that covers a huge gamut of self-prescribed addictive behaviors from licking the fur off of a cat and eating it, stinging yourself with bees or even sniffing/snorting moth balls. Although there were many other strange and peculiar self-harming addictions, some common factors stood out.

Many found their addiction as a way of coping with other issues in their life. Secondly, some of these types of addictions also suffered from other mental health disorders. When listening to their stories, they often mention a pivotal point in their life that triggered this issue.

So with this post, I would like to discuss some of the ways teen boys and girls utilize self-harm to help them get through everyday life. My hope is that it will bring some type of awareness of the very serious dangers of self-injury.

Although there are many avenues to self-harm, we…

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praying2As I have journeyed down the road of being the mom of a child with addictions, self-injury, mental health issues, sexual trauma and suicide attempts most of the tine I traveled alone, in isolation. It’s a horrible time to withdraw, but that’s what we tend to do. Three things that cause us to stay to ourselves are embarrassment, shame and guilt. We can’t bear for anyone to know the truth. What would they think of us? Of our parenting? What would they think of our son or daughter? We want to protect ourselves. We want to protect them. We want to run and hide. We want to keep it all a secret. Shhhhh!!!!!! Don’t let it slip out!

Keep pretending your fine. But the truth is you’re dying inside. “Secrets keep us sick”. And alone. (more…)

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