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Posts Tagged ‘encouragement’

As of this week my blogs will be posted on our website as our homepage: hopeforhurtingparents.com  We appreciate yourfragile1 patience as my dear husband re-builds the site. It’s gonna be great!

When your child is diagnosed with a mental illness it can feel overwhelming. You may become depressed and fearful not knowing what to expect or how to respond. I did. A stranger to the world of mental health, it was all foreign to me. If that describes you, read my last four blogs. They’re all about mental illness. They’ll help educate you, strengthen you and lessen your fears. In today’s blog I’m going to share 3 things I wish someone had told me when I first learned of my daughter’s mental health challenges. I think they’ll help you.

 

1. Your child is still the same person. (more…)

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When I heard about the terrible earthquake that hit Nepal and the growing death toll, I moaned. It hurt my heart. It’s difficultearthquake in Nepal to imagine that degree of suffering, loss, and destruction. Many parents – maybe you – find themselves living in what feels like an earthquake, but their child caused it. Emotionally, it brings about total upheaval of your foundations. It’s devastating. Earth-shaking. You’re not sure you have the strength or survival skills to live through it. You have no idea where to turn for help. You cry out to God and wonder when or where rescue will come?

It may feel too late. The destruction has already hit.

When I felt this way because of my daughter’s addictions, self-injuring, mental illness, suicide attempts and sexual trauma, there were four words I needed to hear. I believe they were from God. They were: (more…)

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Are you the parent or grandparent in pain from a broken heart? Is your pain from the choices, behaviors or struggles of your photo cred. Jordan McQueenchild or grandchild? Mental illness, addiction, self-injury, an  eating disorder, suicidal tendencies, same-sex attraction, incarceration, or an unplanned pregnancy?

They feel like elephants sitting on our chests. They hang like menacing storm clouds over our heads, creating a constant state of anxiety and panic we can’t shake. Nausea is our regular unwanted companion. Maybe you’re a relative or friend of someone this describes. If so, I wrote this for you.

In my opinion, there are 5 things parents in pain (and yes, I’m a member of that club) want their loved ones and friends to know:

1. We need a lot of patience and understanding. Lots of it. We’re not ourselves. We can’t think straight. We may be more forgetful than usual. We may look all right on the outside, but inside we feel like we’re dying. (more…)

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anchorParents who are in pain over the choices and behaviors of their children often feel like they’re being tossed about in a storm at sea. Whether it’s a rebellious teen or a troubled adult, the hurt is the same. It’s deep and wide and consuming.

Mental illness, addiction, self-injury, same-sex attraction, suicide attempts, divorce – it doesn’t matter. Pain is pain. It’s overwhelming, especially if they’re older and there are grandchildren in the picture. That adds to the heartache and worry. It complicates everything.

What can you grab on to that will hold you steady in your raging storm? Where can you turn for what you need – stability, encouragement, comfort, wisdom, hope, and strength? (more…)

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It’s Easter. A day of hope and new beginnings. That’s what people say, right? But what if you don’t feel very hopeful today? pray1Your child is struggling and you can’t help it – you feel hopeless. They’re incarcerated. They have a drug or alcohol problem. They’ve done so much damage to themselves. They inflict wounds on their bodies, too – cutting, burning, breaking bones, disordered eating They’ve been in and out of rehab, but can’t seem to overcome it. Is there any hope for them?

They made a terrible mistake and married that person you prayed they never would – or they moved in with them against your wishes (and prayers). Marriage is the furthest thing from their minds. Maybe now there’s an innocent child (or children) in the picture. Or they’re pursuing a gay lifestyle and hinted marriage could be ahead – or they already married their partner. What is there to hope for now?

Maybe they have a mental illness they can’t seem to manage. Suicide attempts you wish you could forget. It’s been a revolving door of psych wards, hospitalizations, medications, counselors, psychiatrists and there’s still no stability, no peace, no rest – for them, or for you. You wonder how much more you can take. Your heart cries out, “How much longer, O God?”

You see no way anything good could come from all that’s happened. Everything looks ruined. You feel lifeless – dead, stuck in a darkened tomb with a huge stone blocking the only way out. And it really stinks.

What now? What can you do?

  • Keep praying and trusting. God is the relentless Hound of Heaven.
  • Be honest – with God and a few safe people. Let out your pain. He sees. He knows. He cares.
  • Never give up – tomorrow could be their Resurrection Day!
  • Remember who God is, what He’s done in the past, and what He can do in the future. He can raise the dead back to life again!

As long as your child is still breathing – there’s still hope.
So, hope on!

Hold. On. To. Promises. Expectantly.

If you need some fresh hope you might like this book: The Hope of a Homecoming by Brendan O’Rourke and DeEtte Sauer. Click here to order it from our website and a small portion of your purchase will help our ministry, Hope for Hurting Parents.

This verse from the Bible reminds me where my hope comes from:

“Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope.” (Psalm 119:49)

006It’s my prayer that your hope will be renewed today because Christ is risen! He is Risen Indeed! And He has the power to raise your son or daughter back to life.  And if you don’t see this in your lifetime, He’ll raise you up from the grave you feel like your in, to live victoriously in His peace – today and all the days of your life.

In His Resurrection Power.

Amen.

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I’m a hurting parent. If you’re reading this, you probably are, too. My daughter has struggled with addictions, mental woman-cryingillness, self-injury and more for over ten years. It’s been a rough road full of ups and downs. There were many times I didn’t think she would make it – or myself, for that matter. She survived and I did, too. Although I have a lot more gray hair and not a few wrinkles. My marriage even made it.

How? It wasn’t easy. There were things that contributed to my survival. I found help in many places and people. One of them was God. (more…)

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The To Write Love on Her Arms movie has been out a little over a week now. Today’s post is the second in a two-part series answering commonly asked questions about Renee, us, David, and the movie. You can rent or purchase it from RedBox, Netflix (as of March 13th), itunes, Amazon, twloha.com, or Walmart online. It deals with sensitive subjects: Addiction, mental illness, self-injury, suicide, and sexual trauma. For individuals who struggle with self-injury, counselors recommend they watch it with a supportive community and have opportunities to talk about it afterward so that it won’t trigger them. Go to my blog from March 8th for part 1.

Were there any other hobbies Renee had that helped her cope with the inner pain?

Renee sports.Yes. Sports. She was always an athlete from the time she first started playing soccer at age 5. She and her siblings all loved soccer. She played on her school’s team all the way through high school and it was a great outlet for her emotions. In middle school she played on each team they offered (soccer, volleyball, basketball and track) and won the coveted all-sports award in eighth grade, a feat not many could attain (although I like to brag that her sister, April, accomplished the same thing that year as a sixth grader!). And her dad and I never missed a game unless we were sick.

How is your relationship with Renee today?wedding rehearsal - momma and her girls (more…)

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