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Posts Tagged ‘expectations’

In my last post I promised that I would share a sample of one of the daily emails I send out. The one I chose is from this past fall. I hope it will help you decide if you want to sign up to receive my emails.

Do you struggle with guilt? I used to struggle with it a lot. I still do at times. It can be a monkey on your back that won’t let gomonkey on back until you take it before God and deal with it. Only He can remove it completely.

Here are a few thoughts on the subject from one of our support group sessions:

We tend to examine our parenting record, looking for that moment, that mistake that flipped the switch on our relationship. Why? Because guilt is one of the biggest tricks in the devil’s arsenal. (more…)

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Are you the parent who can relate to one of these situations? Your son is in jail with an unknown outcome looming in the future.love Your daughter is fresh out of rehab, not the first time, living in your home again. They have a gambling problem that’s slowly destroying their life; they’re in denial that they drink too much, or abuse their prescription meds; they refuse treatment for a brain disorder; they’ve rejected you and want nothing to do with you because of a position you took regarding their choice of lifestyle; they have a same-sex partner; or they’re undergoing medical treatment to become transgender. How can you have joy at Christmas?

Maybe by letting go of expectations about what you have no control over will help. If you can lower what you expect from your child, it can do wonders. Otherwise, frustrations build up. You become hurt and angry. Discussing this with other parents I’ve realized we need to distinguish the difference between goals and desires. This is lead to joy – even during the holidays. (more…)

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Holidays hurt when you don’t receive the love you long for from someone you care about. For parents of rebellious, wayward children, theywounds can be dreaded occasions. You’ve been feeling like your child died. The sense of loss is overwhelming. The pain cuts deep. Stabbing. Searing. Crushing wounds. Maybe you have even lost your ability to find pleasure in anything.

You wonder if you’ll ever laugh again.

These feelings can worsen to the point of  losing your will to live.  Withdrawing and no longer socializing,  every significant relationship has been effected – your marriage, your relationship with your other children and friendships. If you’re not careful, you can become obsessed with trying to control or fix your child. Life becomes pretty miserable.

So when a holiday comes, like Valentine’s Day, the hurt intensifies. These special days shine a spotlight on your broken heart. You want them to go away — to hurry up and be over.

Can you relate? Is your pain increasing with Valentine’s Day right around the corner? Does it only remind you of your lost hopes and dreams? There are some things you can do to lessen your pain. (more…)

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Have you been dreading Father’s Day this year? Do you wish it would just go away? If your child is in rebellion, making destructive choices, estranged fromDSCN2313 you, or is suffering with a mental illness, then this is not a day you look forward to. It only elevates the pain and sadness you already feel. I posted a similar message to moms for Mother’s Day.This is for dad’s.

Dad, are you expecting to not hear from your child, much less get a card? They’re too self-focused and oblivious for that. They might not even know what day it is. They’re clueless. 

Where does that leave you? Set up for a lot of hurt and pain, anger and resentment. (more…)

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