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Posts Tagged ‘holidays’

It’s Mother’s Day. A wonderful day for some. A painful day for others. I wrote this special prayer for every brokenheartedacceptance mom. For every mom whose son or daughter is away from them, “out there”,  lost to some kind of addiction (drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, gambling, etc.); who can’t stop self-injuring, can’t overcome their eating disorder, refuses treatment for a mental health issue, in denial of their need for help; who has rejected their faith and values, chosen another life-style. There’s nothing quite so painful, is there?

Hurting mom, this prayer is for you:

Heavenly Father, on this day of celebrating mothers, please surround every hurting mom who reads these words with a comforting, warm embrace. Hold them close to Your nurturing heart.

Console them with Your divine “mother-love”. Reassure them You are near. Ease their pain. Lessen the ache in their soul.

Creator of motherhood – this desire to procreate, care for, nurture, and love unconditionally – is from You. You’re the One who gave this capacity to sacrifice  for another human being, no matter how we’re treated in return. (more…)

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Is Mother’s Day going to be difficult for you this year? If so, then this is for you.

It’s not a day many moms look forward to. It only brings pain. Sadness. Heartache. When your relationship is strained or mother's daynon-existent you’d rather skip it. You know you probably won’t hear from them, much less get a card.

You won’t see their smiling face greet you with affection, hand-made cards or thoughtful gifts. They’re too self-focused and oblivious for such loving gestures. They may not even know it’s Mother’s Day. They’re clueless.

Where does that leave you? Set up for a lot of hurt and pain, anger and resentment. (more…)

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It’s Easter. A day of hope and new beginnings. That’s what people say, right? But what if you don’t feel very hopeful today? pray1Your child is struggling and you can’t help it – you feel hopeless. They’re incarcerated. They have a drug or alcohol problem. They’ve done so much damage to themselves. They inflict wounds on their bodies, too – cutting, burning, breaking bones, disordered eating They’ve been in and out of rehab, but can’t seem to overcome it. Is there any hope for them?

They made a terrible mistake and married that person you prayed they never would – or they moved in with them against your wishes (and prayers). Marriage is the furthest thing from their minds. Maybe now there’s an innocent child (or children) in the picture. Or they’re pursuing a gay lifestyle and hinted marriage could be ahead – or they already married their partner. What is there to hope for now?

Maybe they have a mental illness they can’t seem to manage. Suicide attempts you wish you could forget. It’s been a revolving door of psych wards, hospitalizations, medications, counselors, psychiatrists and there’s still no stability, no peace, no rest – for them, or for you. You wonder how much more you can take. Your heart cries out, “How much longer, O God?”

You see no way anything good could come from all that’s happened. Everything looks ruined. You feel lifeless – dead, stuck in a darkened tomb with a huge stone blocking the only way out. And it really stinks.

What now? What can you do?

  • Keep praying and trusting. God is the relentless Hound of Heaven.
  • Be honest – with God and a few safe people. Let out your pain. He sees. He knows. He cares.
  • Never give up – tomorrow could be their Resurrection Day!
  • Remember who God is, what He’s done in the past, and what He can do in the future. He can raise the dead back to life again!

As long as your child is still breathing – there’s still hope.
So, hope on!

Hold. On. To. Promises. Expectantly.

If you need some fresh hope you might like this book: The Hope of a Homecoming by Brendan O’Rourke and DeEtte Sauer. Click here to order it from our website and a small portion of your purchase will help our ministry, Hope for Hurting Parents.

This verse from the Bible reminds me where my hope comes from:

“Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope.” (Psalm 119:49)

006It’s my prayer that your hope will be renewed today because Christ is risen! He is Risen Indeed! And He has the power to raise your son or daughter back to life.  And if you don’t see this in your lifetime, He’ll raise you up from the grave you feel like your in, to live victoriously in His peace – today and all the days of your life.

In His Resurrection Power.

Amen.

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horse The perfect gift. Is there such a thing – especially for brokenhearted parents? Did you struggle to come up with just the right present to give your spouse, partner, parent(s), sister, friend or grandparent this year?

You want the gift to be special for those you love. It needs to show thought and care. You go to great efforts to take into consideration their likes and dislikes.

In recent years my husband and I have gone so far as to let our adult children shop for themselves. That way we know for sure they’re getting something they will like and need.

And what about your “prodigal”? That’s a horse of a different color. (more…)

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Are you the parent who can relate to one of these situations? Your son is in jail with an unknown outcome looming in the future.love Your daughter is fresh out of rehab, not the first time, living in your home again. They have a gambling problem that’s slowly destroying their life; they’re in denial that they drink too much, or abuse their prescription meds; they refuse treatment for a brain disorder; they’ve rejected you and want nothing to do with you because of a position you took regarding their choice of lifestyle; they have a same-sex partner; or they’re undergoing medical treatment to become transgender. How can you have joy at Christmas?

Maybe by letting go of expectations about what you have no control over will help. If you can lower what you expect from your child, it can do wonders. Otherwise, frustrations build up. You become hurt and angry. Discussing this with other parents I’ve realized we need to distinguish the difference between goals and desires. This is lead to joy – even during the holidays. (more…)

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rockwellCan you remember when a special event was ruined for you because of something bad that happened? Maybe it was your birthday. Maybe it was Christmas.

I remember when this happened to me. It was Thanksgiving day in 1997 – a sunny, cold fall day in central Illinois. I was up early to prepare my family’s special breakfast before we watched Macy’s Christmas parade. I look forward to it all year-long. The house was full of cheerful anticipation as tasty aromas drifted in through the house.

Suddenly the phone rang. My world was about to come crashing down.

“Hello?” I answered, expecting one of our parents wishing us a happy day, but it was rather early for them to call.

“Dena, honey,” I heard my dad’s quivering, emotional sounding voice on the other end of the hard, plastic receiver. My stomach began to sink. Something’s wrong.

My mom was doing so much better after an eight month-long illness. She was finally going home today. I couldn’t wait to talk with her for the first time in months. It was going to be a wonderful day.

“I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but I just got a call from the nursing facility and it’s about your mom . . . honey, she passed away early this morning while they were helping her get dressed.” Nooooo!!!!

Thanksgiving has never been quite the same. Her visitation would be on my birthday a few days later. I didn’t want to celebrate anything that year. Thanksgiving? My birthday? Christmas? Who cares.

Have you had a similar experience with one of your children? You’ve been so hurt, wounded, rejected, shocked, and disappointed that now you could care less about the holidays. There will be no Norman Rockwell Christmas for you. (more…)

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In my last post I told you about the idea of a “God Box”.  This is not my original idea. I heard about it in an Al-Anon meeting and it was very impactful for 048me. This is a great strategy to help us as hurting parents deal with our emotions of fear, worry and anxiety. It helps me trust God and let go a little more.

When you realize you’re worried, anxious or upset about something related to your child (more…)

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