Posts Tagged ‘self harm’

When I heard about the terrible earthquake that hit Nepal and the growing death toll, I moaned. It hurt my heart. It’s difficultearthquake in Nepal to imagine that degree of suffering, loss, and destruction. Many parents – maybe you – find themselves living in what feels like an earthquake, but their child caused it. Emotionally, it brings about total upheaval of your foundations. It’s devastating. Earth-shaking. You’re not sure you have the strength or survival skills to live through it. You have no idea where to turn for help. You cry out to God and wonder when or where rescue will come?

It may feel too late. The destruction has already hit.

When I felt this way because of my daughter’s addictions, self-injuring, mental illness, suicide attempts and sexual trauma, there were four words I needed to hear. I believe they were from God. They were: (more…)


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Are you the parent or grandparent in pain from a broken heart? Is your pain from the choices, behaviors or struggles of your photo cred. Jordan McQueenchild or grandchild? Mental illness, addiction, self-injury, an  eating disorder, suicidal tendencies, same-sex attraction, incarceration, or an unplanned pregnancy?

They feel like elephants sitting on our chests. They hang like menacing storm clouds over our heads, creating a constant state of anxiety and panic we can’t shake. Nausea is our regular unwanted companion. Maybe you’re a relative or friend of someone this describes. If so, I wrote this for you.

In my opinion, there are 5 things parents in pain (and yes, I’m a member of that club) want their loved ones and friends to know:

1. We need a lot of patience and understanding. Lots of it. We’re not ourselves. We can’t think straight. We may be more forgetful than usual. We may look all right on the outside, but inside we feel like we’re dying. (more…)

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I’m a hurting parent. If you’re reading this, you probably are, too. My daughter has struggled with addictions, mental woman-cryingillness, self-injury and more for over ten years. It’s been a rough road full of ups and downs. There were many times I didn’t think she would make it – or myself, for that matter. She survived and I did, too. Although I have a lot more gray hair and not a few wrinkles. My marriage even made it.

How? It wasn’t easy. There were things that contributed to my survival. I found help in many places and people. One of them was God. (more…)

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TWLOHA movie12The To Write Love on Her Arms movie has been out almost a week now. It’s surreal for my husband and me to see our daughter and our lives in a movie. We’ve heard from friends all over the country who’ve watched it and even a few who saw it on international flights.

The comments have been overwhelmingly positive. It’s been a long time coming. The movie was filmed four years ago. One of the producers, a lead character in the story, David, died two years ago. The movie exists because of his strong belief that the story needed to be made into a motion picture to impact still more people with its message of hope.

We thank God for you and your ability to dream big, David!

I’ve been asked a lot of questions about the movie. You can rent or purchase it from RedBox, Netflix, itunes, Amazon, twloha.com, or Walmart online. It’s rated PG-13 for language and content. It deals with sensitive subjects: Addiction, mental illness, self-injury, and sexual trauma. For individuals who struggle with self-injury, counselors recommend they watch it with a supportive community and have opportunities to talk about it afterward so that it won’t trigger them.

I’m addressing a few questions today and then several more in my next post this coming Wednesday, March 11th.


When did I first realize Renee struggled with self-injury?I Don't Love My Child Anymore She Said - Or Does She? - Anchor Of Promise (more…)

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I am the mother of Renee Yohe. Who is she? She’s the troubled young woman whose story became a phenomenon when itTWLOHA movie16 birthed a global, non-profit movement called To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com; also on Facebook). They bring help and hope to those who struggle with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. Their website explains their purpose: “To encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly into treatment and recovery.”

These are the issues my daughter has struggled with for years. She almost lost her life – more than once. My journey as her mom has been, by far, the most difficult experience of my life, yet the most transforming. And now her story has been transforming the lives of thousands, if not millions, around the world. We marvel over this.

A little over three years ago another amazing thing happened. A movie was made about Renee’s story and the five life-changing days that snowballed into what we know today as To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com). Yesterday, March 3rd, that movie, titled after the name of the organization, was released by Sony Pictures! (more…)

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praying2As I have journeyed down the road of being the mom of a child with addictions, self-injury, mental health issues, sexual trauma and suicide attempts most of the tine I traveled alone, in isolation. It’s a horrible time to withdraw, but that’s what we tend to do. Three things that cause us to stay to ourselves are embarrassment, shame and guilt. We can’t bear for anyone to know the truth. What would they think of us? Of our parenting? What would they think of our son or daughter? We want to protect ourselves. We want to protect them. We want to run and hide. We want to keep it all a secret. Shhhhh!!!!!! Don’t let it slip out!

Keep pretending your fine. But the truth is you’re dying inside. “Secrets keep us sick”. And alone. (more…)

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If you’re a hurting parent who’s been deeply wounded by your son or daughter’s choices, behaviors and troubles you know how lonely this experience can be.

Broken. Crushed. Devastated. Hopeless. Bitter. Resentful. Helpless. Rejected. Grief-stricken. Heart-sick. Anxiety-ridden. majesty3

Do you see yourself here? Do any of these words describe where you’ve been or where you are right now? If so, then I have good news for you. Yes. good. And yes, for. you.

I want you to know about an opportunity to receive ongoing support and encouragement from a parent who’s been in your shoes – in each of those descriptions – who really understands. From who? From me. I’m the mom of a daughter (now 28) who’s struggled for over ten years with addictions, self-injury (cutting), brain disorders (mental illness) and suicidal tendencies. I know how hard it is to walk this path and keep your sanity. (more…)

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